“A Kind of Never Ending Story”

“I have found it very important in my own life to try to let go of my wishes and instead to live in hope. I am finding that when I choose to let go of my sometimes petty and superficial wishes and trust that my life is precious and meaningful in the eyes of God something really new, something beyond my own expectations begins to happen to me.”  ~ Henri J.M. Nouwen

I love the time between Christmas and New Year. In my current situation, it is a time that I am on holiday; of being away from work. It is time to rest and reflect on another year gone by. Then, with hope and longing, look forward to the promise of the year that is to come. 

Sitting here, thinking on this ending year, it is all too easy to present a laundry list of what I’ve done. Thinking on it, I have come to appreciate that it is not where I’ve been or what I’ve experienced that defines my year. Rather, it is what these experiences have meant and what are the lessons I have learned that seem important.

These lessons are some that I have learned in previous years. But in recalling this years experiences, these are lessons that speak to them and are renewed.

I have learned that there is no better thing I do than to begin my day with God! This has become for me as necessary as breathing. I have learned to spend a few moments each morning in scripture and considering the thoughts held in the spiritual classics. But what is most important is the quiet spent with my Creator. I have learned to turn off the media and the music and spend that time praying, listening and preparing for the day ahead. It makes a difference in my life. God is great! All the time!

I have learned that life is precious. Over these past few months our family has  experienced the pure joy of an announcement of new life and the sorrow of the  unexpected lose of life. Considering this, we have each been given this life to live, and being created with free will, it is our choice on how we live it. We can choose to make a difference in the lives of others; to our family, to our friends and to total strangers. It is our choice to create chaos or create peace. As for me, I hope daily “to act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with my God.” 

I have learned that life is a journey that is to be enjoyed. I began this year trying not to focus on a destination, but rather, to enjoy the journey that I am on. I feel I have done fairly well. Yet, while on this journey, I have learned that life must be lived with purpose. I am not meant to drift, as a boat on an ocean. I must be purposeful, whether this means staying in or going out. I must know that what I do adds to the enjoyment and enhances the memory of the journey.

I have learned that laughing together, with family and friends, is marvelous! I will not very soon forget my wife, my daughter and I sitting in a New York theater laughing hysterically during a scene from “Peter and the Star Catcher”, or being in a Baltimore restaurant cutting up and laughing with my son, mother and sister. With friends, I have laughed so hard that I hurt! That is such a wonderful feeling. As Dickens wrote, “There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.”

I have learned that a few truly wonderful friends makes all the difference in the world! Technology and media are redefining friendship. It occurs with the push of a button. But true friendship, a caring and nurturing friendship, is a gift. I have been told that in life I will find only a handful of true friends; that I can count them on my fingers. I have found them and I am blessed.

I have learned that less really is more. The accompanying lesson to learn is to apply this truth in a practical sense. Get small.

I have learned that our America is a vast and beautiful country. It cries out to be explored.

I have learned that staying in one place is not all that it is chalked up to be. The world  that God has given us, that we inhabit, is an incredible creation. The potential He has given us is far greater. To spend all of our lives working or staying in one place seems to me, a tragedy. Yes, we do what must to live, but we must hold to the truth that we work in order to live and not the opposite way round. I have learned that this old man still has  a few adventures left in him.

I have learned that the desire to create is still very much a part of who I am. I am learning that I must push my way through a “success by comparison” attitude and simply do what I want to do so that I can satisfy this creative need. The doodle, the drawing, the photograph that I take is but a window into my spirit. Should someone else find value in it, then that is good. Still the process of creating is but another way of expressing my experience. 

Tolkien said, “True education is a kind of never ending story - a matter of continual beginnings, of habitual fresh starts, of persistent newness.” I have learned that being a student, in school, is a great thrill. Learning and the desire to learn should never end. It is like dreaming. The moment we stop learning and the time that we cease to dream is when we begin to die. As we live in this moment, we surely must look to and dream of the moment that is yet to come. Even if that moment is the one in which we pass through Heaven’s door and are received back into God’s presence.

I have lived two score and fifteen years. There are fewer years ahead of me than years that lay behind me. But, with every day that I am given, there is a new prayer to whispered, a new step to be taken and a new lesson to be learned. It is a new day and  a new opportunity to press into God and say, Lord, here I am. I am yours.

“Even so, come Lord Jesus.”